Heinrich Hamburglar

It appears man was doomed from the outset. I picked up this book on a cold, rainy, drizzly day. You can almost see…God was urinating on this day; it wasn’t profound. I…uh…I found this book by the garbage, where it belongs. This, this inexplicable—inexplicable anti-Semitism will be a downfall for all of us Super-Jews. He fears the evolution of the Super-Jew—this Tes-fah-fah-fah-fah-fuck-out-of-here-Mekonnen. It is very—it’s an unpronounceable name. By the bye, my name is Heinrich Hamburglar and I’m from the—from the Weimar. I…this—this—this anti-Semitism—zzzzz…uhhh…this Hebraic Hater—why must a man utilize the name such as Adolfo Dumfries? And we know the only Adolfo that ever existed is Adolf Hitler and then there is this Brutals—Brutus Goebbels Beaujolais…which…evokes a Joseph Goebbels. The propagandist—the—the—the—the man that took Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche’s word and turned them into a sort of—a sort of…a pamphlet for the…the—the Nazis. So, I’ve not read the whole book—I’ve skimmed it and I’ve realized there is a deep anti-Semitism. Yes. You may ask why has my accent faltered. But it—it appears that I am an Abyssinian who—who—who converted to the beautiful Judaism. Yes, I converted to this Judaism. See…he brews this hate-juice for the Hebrew—this man, yes, this—this Tes-fah-fah-fah-I-don’t-know-the-name of this guy. But I don’t know whether this book is for the children, or for the adult, or the man-child…per se. I don’t know. I have yet to read the book all the way through. So, this book, I know nothing of its gut, but a few dumplings here and there—and those dumplings are this anti-Semitism, that I sense. And why must they hate us? We are chosen for a reason. No, no? I’ve gone to Mount Sinai and prayed for Moses that one day he’ll go to the promise land. I know not about the transgression, but I believe in the God that did not allow him to the promise land; that transgression must’ve been substantial. And…uh…I know I am going off the rails… because…I am that kind of guy. I’ve been diagnosed a schizophrenic lunatic by the madhouse nurse.